Care Capsule

Light Notes




JAMES (age 4) was listening to a Bible story. His dad read: “The man named Lot was warned to take his wife and flee out of the city but his wife looked back and was turned to salt.”

Concerned, James asked: “What happened to the flea?”

Glaser’s Law: If it says “one size fits all,” it doesn’t fit anyone.

Glyme’s Formula for Success: The secret of success is sincerity. Once you can fake that you’ve got it made.

Random Thoughts

I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.

42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.

He who laughs last thinks slowest.

The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

I intend to live forever — so far, so good!

A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.

  • A jumper cable walks into a bar. The bartender says, “I’ll serve you, but don’t start anything.”
  • A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm and says: “A beer please, and one for the road.”
  • An invisible man marries an invisible woman. The kids were nothing to look at either.
  • Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused Novocain during a root canal?
    His goal? Transcend dental medication.
  • There was the person who sent ten different puns to his friends, with the hope that at least one of the puns would make them laugh. No pun in ten did.

Return to Care Capsule Front Page