Light Notes
8 Things That It Took Me 50 Years To Learn
—by Dave Barry
1. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative
on the same night.
2. If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved, and never will achieve, its full potential, that word would be “meetings.”
3. You should not confuse your career with your life.
4. No matter what happens, somebody will find a way to take it too seriously.
5. Nobody cares if you can’t dance well. Just get up and dance.
6. Never lick a steak knife.
7. A person who is nice to you, but rude to the waiter, is not a nice person.
8. Your friends love you anyway.
A father was reading Bible stories to his young son.
He read, “The man named Lot was warned to take his wife and flee out of the city, but his wife looked back and was turned to salt.”
His son asked, “What happened to the flea?”
CARPERPETUATION
(kar' pur pet u a shun) n.
The act, when vacuuming,of running over a string or a piece of lint at
least a dozen times, reaching over and picking it up, examining it, then
putting it back down to give the vacuum one more chance.
A student was asked to list the 10 Commandments in any order.
His answer: 3, 6, 1, 8, 4, 5, 9, 2, 10,
