Just wondering . . .
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stretching to do even more than they had done before — to do the absolute best that they could do right then. Commentators consistently reported when an athlete's score exceeded his or her own "personal best". An individual might be able to do better in the future (because of more experience, more training, better circumstances with their fitness and health), but each was striving to do the very best right now with where they were on their athletic journey.
Please don't misunderstand, however—striving to do better or working to raise the bar for yourself is not something to add more stress in your life! It is not a call to activities that overwhelm the other things in your life — your daily responsibilities. Rather, it is an understanding and an attitude that blends with your everyday life. Let's pause and look at some of the words from the Vision Statement of Care and Kindness. "Christian people will learn appropriate outlooks, attitudes and the skills for approaching, walking with, listening, and responding."
Dr. Kok has said, "The Care and Kindness Conference aims to ignite in all God's children a sense of calling to demonstrate extraordinary kindness, attentiveness and compassion to friends, colleagues, next door neighbors and the stranger at the car wash. Believe this: every act of encouragement, every word of appreciation, every smile helps as an antidote to all of the bad stuff that people are facing. Minutes and hours spent weeping with those who weep, listening to the grieving, walking with the least of all people is inspiring; it is life-giving.
The teachings of the Care and Kindness movement are to help you be more comfortable and more confident in the situations that come up daily. Responding to or listening to a friend is not stressful—just the opposite, it is something you want to do. When your friend shares a deep hurt, you will be less fearful of stepping into their pain if you have learned additional skills, outlooks, and attitudes. And, if you are better prepared for these situations, if you are feeling more confident about being able to respond better, you will be more willing to venture into situations that you would previously have shied away from.
At this point, you may be thinking, "I have to step into other people's hurts? I don't want to be doing that all the time." No, you don't have to do it all the time. But you CAN do it—now and then. And, each time you do, you bless another person. One of the lessons Dr. Kok teaches is the need for boundaries. You cannot do these kinds of things all day long, everyday. You will burn out, and then not be effective at all. You cannot enter into ALL the hurts that surround you; you have to establish some boundaries for yourself. But you CAN do it now and then.
Jesus said, "Love one another." Acts of kindness are specific ways to demonstrate the love we are called to share. As followers of Jesus, we can live our faith in ways that speak louder than words. And, it doesn't have to be big things – it's more important to do the little things. Let's go back to Dr. Kok's statement: "demonstrate to friends, colleagues, next-door neighbors and the stranger at the car wash." Weren't we already planning to go to the car wash? We know we're going to be in the grocery store. We're going to be talking to our next-door neighbor. In each of the places, we can learn to do just a little bit better at showing kindnesses to people—showing interest in people.
Have you ever been guilty of treating the bank teller, or the checkout person, or the waitress no differently than a machine? Or, do you let each of them know that you see them as PERSONS? It's really very simple; it's actually quite easy. In fact, it's probably harder to remember to take a moment to show a kindness than it is to actually do it.
Jane Voss, from Chicago, wrote the following, "The 2008 conference is still a part of me when I intentionally call my mail lady by name or allow someone with fewer groceries to go ahead of me in line, etc." She gets it! She gets an A+ on her report card. She knows that is not "fluff". She knows it is not just "making nicey-nice", or just smiling at people. She has learned that calling her mail lady by name demonstrates that she sees this person as a fellow traveler. She blesses her mail lady each time she does that, I guarantee!
You can do things like this every day! It's not hard work! But it may take a conscious effort to do it more often. It may not come naturally to you — some people are more outgoing than others, but making the decision and the effort to do it is how you raise the bar for yourself. Sure, anybody can do this, but DO they? Does the lady who said, "I'm the kindest person I know" share kindness wherever she goes? Or could she in fact benefit from some occasional reminders of ways to show her kindness? Reminders of places where she can reflect more love to the people she meets?
This is why Care Conferences are held each year. They are refresher courses for people like Jane, and learning sessions for those who haven't quite gotten the whole picture yet. They are a place where each person attending can refill their kindness fuel tanks. This is also why the Care Capsule is mailed to people all over the United States. They are sent out between conferences — to remind people, to motivate them, and to inspire them to do even better. And it is also why Dr. Kok wrote "The Miracle of Kindness", which is a much more detailed 'handbook' for people who want to grow in their ability to be better 'Kindness Ambassadors'.
Is care and kindness kid-stuff? Is it just smiling at everybody? No, it is much more rewarding than that to those who give it and to those who receive it. It is a blessing that you can give everyday, wherever you go, wherever you are already involved — to everyone!
