by Dr. James R. Kok

In his preface to Dr. Kok's book, "90% of Helping Is Just Showing Up", Jacob Heerema (Christian Reformed Pastoral Ministries) says:

"Every decision we make should open our world wider. So, with the persistence of an olympic athlete, Jim Kok urges us to take an honest look at ourselves, others, and our world through the eyes of Jesus.

We are encouraged to deny neither our pain nor our power. To deny our pain is to live in an unreal world. The journey towards spiritual maturity demands that we own our hurts and that we affirm others in their suffering. To deny God's life-giving power is to settle for death when He offers us life.

So how do we become open to this wider world? Ninety percent of helping is just being there. It's so simple, yet so profound! Healing for our hurts comes alive through the loving presence of caring friends.

We invite you to read this book with care. It may become a land mine that helps us destroy our defenses. But it will also surely be a gold mine of creative insight about how to bring hope in the context of our hurts."

As the opening of Chapter 1, Dr. Kok says:

Most people want to be helpful. They will try to aid and assist friends in need in a variety of practical and resourceful ways. Caring colleagues generously support each other through many creative, self-denying acts and gifts.

But one mode of helping easily gets overlooked in the human rush to make things better for fallen comrades. Call it "just being there" or "walking with" or "intimacy." Often this is the most vital ingredient in any recipe for restoring a broken heart or a shattered spirit."

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