Care Capsule
Capsules of Motivation to Dispense Care and Kindness

Volume 3- Issue 3
September 2001



In This Issue

I Feel Your Pain

It’s Not What I Say

For Goodness’ Sake

My Richest Christmas Ever

Light Notes


Her First Prayer

Care Capsule
Index Page

I Feel Your Pain

Is it actually possible?

—— Dr. James R. Kok


“I feel your pain.” — Sounds good, but is it actually possible? Perhaps the greater question to ask: Is it necessary?

Caring folks do truly (some of the time) so closely identify with others that their hearts ache for them and with them. The capacity for this differs from one person to another. There are those who quickly, naturally and deeply, connect with those in struggle, loss or tragedy. Their tears readily flow, their stomachs ache, their sleep is disturbed, on behalf of a friend or even a stranger.

This kind of compassion (compassion literally means, “to feel with”) is usually appreciated by those in pain. What more could one hope for than someone sharing your distress so personally?

There is another side to this however: If Harvey becomes emotionally upset each time he gets involved in someone’s grief or terminal illness, he may grow cautious about calling and caring.

A natural reflex to avoid distress may trigger avoidance. Here is where a good soul such as he may profit from a little training, to help him care without such adverse consequences.



Dr. James R. Kok has a number of articles on the essentials for a caring person in previous issues of the Care Capsule.

A handful of basic tools — wrapped in courage—are the keys to open doors. He will continue his series in the next issue.

Dr. Kok believes there are 10–12 key concepts of which every caring person should be aware in order to step out as an effective friend and support-person.

They range from “naming the elephant” to “peace, peace when there is no peace”.

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