Light Notes
Bread Kills!
- 99.7% of the people involved in air and auto accidents ate bread within 6 months preceding the accident.
- 93.1% of juvenile delinquents came from homes where bread was served frequently.
- Nearly all sick people have eaten bread.
- Bread is made from a substance called “dough.” It has been proven that as little as a teaspoon of dough can be used to suffocate a lab rat. The average American eats more bread than that in one day!
- Bread is often a “gateway” food item, leading the user to “harder” items such as butter, jelly, peanut butter, and even cold cuts.
- Bread has been proven to be addictive. Subjects deprived of bread and given only water to eat begged for bread after as little as two days.
OXYMORONS
- Legally drunk
- Act naturally
- Good grief
- Small crowd
- “Now, then . . .”
- Clearly misunderstood
- Peace force
- Extinct life
- Plastic glasses
- Tight slacks
- Pretty ugly
A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.
Experience is something you don’t get until just after you need it.
A little boy was attending
his first wedding. After the service, his cousin asked him, “How
many women can a man marry?” “Sixteen,” the boy responded.
His cousin was amazed that he knew the answer so quickly. “How
do you know that?” “Easy,” the little boy said. “All
you have to do is add it up, like the Preacher said: 4 better, 4 worse,
4 richer, 4 poorer.”
HYMNS FOR FOLKS OVER 50
- Precious Lord, Take My Hand (And Help Me to Get Up)
- It Is Well With My Soul (But My Back Hurts)
- Nobody Knows the Trouble I Have Seeing
- Amazing Grace (Considering My Age)
- Just a Slower Walk With Thee
- Count Your Many Birthdays, Name Them One By One
- Go Tell It On The Mountain (And Speak Up)
- Give Me That Old Timers Religion
- Blessed Insurance
- Guide Me, O Thou Great Jehovah (I’ve Forgotten Where I Parked)
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