Care Capsule
Capsules of Motivation to Dispense Care and Kindness

Volume 4- Issue 2
September 2002





In This Issue

Reluctant Love Delivers Needed Peace

SIMPLE Acts of Care and Kindness

Sixth Annual
Care Conference

Heavenly Father, Help Me Remember

Light Notes

Family Circus

Reluctant Love Delivers Needed Peace

God can touch his people — in spite of us

—— Dr. James R. Kok


Clarissa had called the church asking for a pastor to come visit her. The request was relayed to me about 9:00 p.m. on a Sunday. “Dying” was mentioned, so urgency surrounded the message. Tired and wary from many "urgent" calls where I rushed out, only to find the dying person watching television or reading the newspaper, I telephoned first.

Clarissa answered. She was okay, she told me, and, yes, it would be fine if I stopped by the next day.

Monday is my day off, but the hospital was a small one not far from my home, so I felt agreeable about a visit. Before departing, I checked with my office about the referral and discovered she had ordered, in her request for a pastor, that “no Blacks, Asians or women” should come. It was also noted that she was not a member of the church, nor does she attend.

Suddenly my enthusiasm for making this call drained. Instead, a chore loomed. I disliked this woman before even meeting her. The visit on my day off was shaping up as nothing more than a distasteful duty. I felt more than reluctant. A bigoted old woman who doesn’t even support the church, claims she’s dying, sounds strong, intruding on my precious free time and limited energy.

As I walked into her room, my distaste for her worsened. The distinct odor of cigarette smoke permeated the air. “Here she is,” I thought, “supposedly on the verge of death from pneumonia, heart failure, and circulation problems, and she’s smoking in her hospital room. And I’m supposed to be supportive, caring and interested. Everything she’s being treated for is not only made worse by smoking, it probably caused it in the first place.” Outward pleasantness covered my growing disgust.


Dr. James R. Kok has written a series of articles on the essentials for a caring person. A handful of basic tools—wrapped in courage—are the keys to open doors.

As the Koach Of Kare,
Dr. Kok has been a pastor at the Crystal Cathedral for the past eighteen years and heads the Care Ministry department of the church. He is the author of five books and numerous articles, and he is the founder of the International Conference on Care and Kindness.

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