MEMO
To All Kindness Ambassadors
The act of showing care and kindness can easily be understood as how the Golden Rule tells us to act. “Do to others whatever you would like them to do to you. This is the essence of all that is taught in the law and the prophets.” Matthew 7:12 (NLT).
The “Just Show Up” principle that Dr. Kok teaches comes out of the Golden Rule. We love it and we are comforted by people who “show up” for us when we are hurting, struggling, or stressing. This verse from the Sermon on the Mount, therefore, tells us to “show up” for other people — to treat them the way we want to be treated. As we encounter people on a daily basis, look for ways to treat them in the way we would them to treat us.
Dr. John Vawter reports in his book, “Uncommon Graces”, that he was speaking at a conference on this subject, and asked the audience how they like to be treated. Some of their answers are listed below. We thank him for his permission to reprint them and his remarks that follow.
- Give me the freedom to be myself.
- Treat me with honesty.
- Be helpful to me when I am in need.
- Give it to me straight.
- Help me to improve and grow.
- Treat me with courtesy.
- Treat me with respect.
- Treat me with patience.
- Encourage me.
- Listen to me.
- Take the time to understand me.
- Love me.
- Trust me.
- Don’t be selfish with me.
- Be kind.
- Be sensitive if I am in pain.
- Don’t use me.
- Don’t always insist you are right.
- Don’t insist you didn’t say what others claim you did.
Most of us would agree with this list, but next comes the hard part. We must ask ourselves some tough questions: Was I treating my child with respect tonight when I lost my temper? Did I listen to the person at the meeting who disagreed with me, or was I too busy formulating my response? When was the last time I admitted to someone that I was wrong?
It is hard to examine ourselves, harder still to admit our shortcomings. But it is only as we are willing to face our areas of weakness that our ability to live out the Golden Rule increases.
Uncommon Graces
John Vawter
(used with permission)
Dr. Vawter is one of our featured speakers at the Kindness Conference in March 2010.
