In This Issue

Please Don't Cheer Me Up

Sydney Care
Conference

Michigan Care Conference

Pre-Conference Retreat

2007 Conference Schedule

Light Notes

Come Celebrate Our Birthday Party With Us

Where Grandma Lives

Please Don’t Cheer Me Up

Stow your pills away

—— Dr. James R. Kok

A dozen women were gathered in a comfortable room to help each other, and to receive help for the heavy load of grief each was carrying. This was the seventh week of a twelve-week self-help workshop. Several were recently widowed. Two had lost an adult child. Three were grieving the loss of a dear friend. One had recently parted with her father.

They had asked me to come in for a couple of evenings to meet with them and answer some questions they had collected in the early sessions. They were all still new to their painful losses. Everyone had less than a year of living with the heartbreak they were carrying. It became obvious that grief was fresh in their souls, as many tears kept flowing while we talked.

After an hour of rather valuable interaction, I decided to ask an unusual question. I wanted to hear how they would answer it because it got at a common issue in one’s life of mourning. Their answer would be instructive to me and possibly meaningful to them as well.

A $1.00 Grief Reliever
This is what I said: “My friends, pretend I have a pill with me tonight, a powerful medicine, proven to do what it promises. You may have one. You only need one and no more. The pill will take away your sorrow. You will no longer be feeling sad, miserable and heartbroken. They are $1.00 each, but if they do not work, I will give you your money back. Who would like one?”

They looked a little stunned and confused. A few chuckled and others frowned in perplexity. I went around the circle asking each personally if she would like one. Every single woman declined. No one wanted relief. Not one wanted her pain erased in that way.

continued

Dr. James R. Kok has written a series of articles on the essentials for a caring person. A handful of basic tools—wrapped in courage—are the keys to open doors.

As the Koach Of  Kare,
Dr. Kok has been a pastor at the Crystal Cathedral for the past twenty years and heads the Care Ministry department of the church. He is the author of five books and numerous articles, and he is the founder of the Conference on Care and Kindness.

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