Motivating people to practice intentional acts of kindness

A Major Mistake When Helping the Hurting

When visiting someone who is in grief, or who has recently been hit by a distressing or unsettling event there is a major temptation. It is to think you have to fix the problem, give a solution, provide a remedy.

Sometimes the answer that folks give is a Scripture verse or some Biblical wisdom. But . . . those may be untimely.

Remember the old formula: "90% of Helping is Just Showing Up". That is the medicine everyone needs. The medicine is Love.

Answers, fixes, solutions and remedies may be politely received, but they seldom fit. Giving such supposed help may make the giver feel as if she is doing something, but they are almost always inappropriate.

What should one do then?

Show up! Act interested. Listen. Touch. Smile a little. Weep with those who weep.

Rarely stay more than an hour; (twenty minutes or less if the person is sick).

Listen. Listen. Listen.

Remember, God heals.

Your presence is love, not your "fixing" words. That love, your presence, is part of God's healing presence. God will heal them. You just show up.


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    Laugh Lines

      Silly Thoughts

At my age ’Getting lucky’ means walking into a room and remembering what I came in there for.

Have you read Jim Kok's signature book?

The secret is that, more than saying anything, you just show up!

We help people by leaving our own comfort zone and standing close to them.